The Brooklyn Nets debuted their Big 3 in a double-overtime loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers on Wednesday evening. For those unaware of how life operates, that now means the franchise has to trade Kyrie Irving.
Sorry. Those are the rules.
If you haven’t scoured the mean streets of social media, you might not yet know of the following.
The Nets lost to:
A team with the worst offense in the league.
A team located in Cleveland (extra yucky points).
A basketball franchise.
A team on the day the United States of America tossed another old white guy in the White House.
Point one ignores how the Cavs have been without roughly 50 percent of their key cogs to end up being the worst offensive team in the league to begin with, but let’s not allow that to get in the way of narratives.
After all, Steve Nash is on our side on this. Brooklyn’s defense is all the awful according to the man known to last seven-seconds-or-less.
"We had breakdowns all over the place. So we’ve got a lot of work to do. We know that. We know we have a very offensive team right now, so we have to find ways to defend, to get connected, to be on the same page," Nash said, via The New York Post.
CONNECTED. ThE SaMe pAGe. fInD wAyS.
Much like a solid QAnon shitposter over the last four years, but excluding inauguration day, you need to read between the lines. See the PROOF and the EVIDENCE that Nash is already prepared to blow up the roster. He’s going to “find ways” to get “connected” and the like. You know, by trading Kyrie…???
See? Proof. Evidence. Prove me wrong!
For the sake of THE NARRATIVE, let’s also forget that this was literally the first time James Harden, Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant played together (also, you know, alongside other Nets players). Chemistry is clearly important for a basketball team, but not when it gets in the way of poking fun at Third-Eye Kyrie, Burner Man Durant, and/or I guess the body shaming we do to James Harden.
Man, we’re a bloody evil and mean species. Eh, let’s digress.
To debunk some of the loss a bit: The neat part of the loss was the fact that Durant played over 50 minutes for the first time since May 2019; all three guys put up amazing stats; and things should only get better as the trio get reps playing together.
HOWEVER
Did Durant play all those minutes and claim to feel like he could play another 20 after? Sure, but he also got gobblesmacked (IDK if that’s a word) by Collin Sexton.
Alas, it’s 2021. Now that the pandemic is over — and it is since I was told that’s how calendar years work — and there’s a new man sitting in the Oval Office, we need to quickly dismantle Brooklyn’s Big 3 before they ruin basketball by not being the best team ever assembled on Day One.
Step one? Trade Kevin Durant to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Anthony Edwards and like fifty future first-round picks.
Step two? Trade James Harden, Kyrie Irving and eleven of those fifty first-rounders to the Wolves for Kevin Durant.
Step three? Profit.
Fixed.
No need to read any other blogs now. I won Thursday and am now the default GM of the Brooklyn Nets.
In closing, what did we learn about the Nets’ Big 3? That it’ll take time, but Collin Sexton is their kryptonite.
This is now a Collin Sexton fan blog or something. Likely something, but ending newsletter posts can be difficult and I’ll end meandering more than I already have.
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Joseph used to write a bunch of things for places like Forbes, FRS and others. Now he’s ‘the man’ in management. A big old loser. A washed, leathery face, too. Here’s his own newsletter. If you truly want, you can find him on the mean streets of Twitter @JosephNardone.