If there’s something sports franchises love more than anything else it’s retreading the same few coaches over and over again.
Oh, hello there, Jeff and Stan Van Gundy.
Both guys are forever hearing their names linked to open gigs, especially in this wild offseason, as franchises on the brink of postseason glory are apparently chasing the Van Gundys. To that I say, BOO!
Aside: Is the plural of Van Gundy: Van Gundys, Van Gundie, a Flock of Gundy?
To make matters brief: Stay away from NBA coaching trees until the day we all meet our makers.
This blunt take has nothing to do with how good or bad either guy is as a coach. Instead, it’s about how much I — preference/subjective based content! — enjoy them as personalities.
Jeff Van Gundy, who mostly plays well off Marky Mark Jackson in the booth, is a little too far removed from active coaching to give insane insights, but his knowledge of the game places him as one of the better color commentators in the business.
Moreover, we can’t have a broadcast team of just a play-by-play guy and Jackson. We. Just. Can’t.
Stan Van Gundy — or as the cool kids call him, Stundy — is the best. His stints hovering around the Dan Le Betard universe are always a treat, as are his incredible nuggets of information that come with him talking about the game.
He seems like a legitimately remarkable fella who is capable of many things outside of coaching. In fact, he’s almost for sure better outside of direct competition.
Story time!
I once worked at an airport. In this wonderful placed coined the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre International (lol) Airport, I side-eyed Stan. He was waiting in line opposite the car rental company I worked for (I know, I am sorry… don’t pay for the insurance), when I noticed him. It was a few weeks after he was given the boot from one of his gigs. He appeared happy and healthy.
How healthy? I wasn’t 100 percent it was even him. He was thin, tan and had a glow about him. It sounds weird to say this about a man you don’t really know, but his clearly improved health brought me joy. After listening to him speak about a coach’s lifestyle on various TV and radio shows, I’m convinced he appeared to look so good because he was out of the game.
Basically, let’s keep our friend Stundy healthy.
Kids, Magic Johnson Is Back!
Magic Johnson is one of the five best basketball players in the history of humans tossing a ball through a hoop. And yet, after an incredible start to his post-playing career by starting all sorts of cool businesses, he’s become your friend who just says outlandish shit.
Sure, it’s outlandish nonsense, but it comes with no weird intent or malice, making it somehow more bananas.
Magic’s latest has nothing to do with him reminding us what time the Dodgers game starts or how Player X was great by copy-pasting a box-score. Nope. This time, he’s calling for a dude who just finished off ONLY HIS SECOND YEAR to come to the Lakers, as if the guy has a choice.
"Luka come on to the Lakers, I like that," Johnson said on First Take.
So would Lakers fans, but are we writing fan-fiction now?
This came in relation to what was essentially Magic using the platform to talk the joys of being a Lakers guy.
"Anthony Davis now is known across the world because of the platform of the Lakers. Then, him and LeBron [James] next season, they could repeat," Johnson said.
To a degree, I get Magic’s point, though unrealistic as it actually is.
Anyway, Magic’s fall to meme-status on social media is why everyone who ever becomes all-time great at something should become a recluse. Not for their sanity or anything (they need to do what’s best for them), but to stop trampling all over our childhood memories.
The Jets Did A Thing
Only hours after it was reported the New York Jets were going to trade Le'Veon Bell, the aging running back was instead flatly cut by the franchise.
Apparently, Bell was disgruntled with the team and the Jets were going to do what they’ve done for many years now… make matters worse.
Here’s the team’s official statement on the batter, but be warned, it’s essentially word vomit:
"After having conversations with Le'Veon and his agent and exploring potential trade options over the past couple of days, we have made the decision to release Le'Veon," the team said in a statement. "The Jets organization appreciates Le'Veon's efforts during his time here and we know he worked hard to make significant contributions to this team. We believe this decision is in the best interests of both parties and wish him future success."
Here was Bell’s official statement:
Bell was upset about his role with the team. In theory, it is nice the franchise just cut him loose instead of keeping him on the roster without a plan of attack.
HOWEVER, New York is now on the hook for the rest of Bell’s $6 million deal. Of course, that’s only his base pay, and the Jets get some of it back if he signs with a new team (the difference in deals they remain responsible for).
I’m going to go out on a limb to suggest more information about this entire fiasco will leak by the time you read this. Given that, this handsome internet scribbler doesn’t want to go too strong with his take in one way or another.
All I will say, though, is these happenings rarely go down within franchise properly ran.
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Joseph used to write a bunch of things for places like Forbes, FRS and others. Now he’s ‘the man’ in management. A big old loser. A washed, leathery face, too. Here’s his own newsletter.