Remember when scoring points was considered more evil than Michael Myers on a brisk Halloween evening?
It was real. A time not so long ago. A place in the vortex when and where many a member of the human species took to social media to tell you why Devin Booker was #WellActually bad.
Following a 35 point masterpiece on Monday, along with some other tremendous tomfoolery, those same people are changing their mind when it comes to the man who is No. 1 on the scoreboard and in your heart.
The Suns are 6-0 since entering the NBA Bubble. Booker is a large reason for this wild run, scoring 30 or more points in all but two of those games, adding 27 and 20 in those he failed to reach that milestone number.
"It's been fun," Booker said after tying his own franchise record for most 35-point games in a single season, notching his 15th. "We've been playing really good basketball. We've been having fun on and off the court with each other. We're becoming closer. We're learning each other. And we're communicating with each other.
It's not just volume-shooting, either. In every game but one -- the first after a long break -- Booker shot over 50 percent from the field. For those bad at math and/or never took common core: That's really good for a guard.
Hell, he even made a 40-foot bomb without leaving his feet.
It's not only on the court where Booker is taking his shot, too. It's off it. After the Suns dispatched of the Thunder, Booker took to the meanstreets of Instagram to shoot his shot on Kendall Jenner because why not? It also, ugh, helps they're already dating (we think, I guess. I don't know, I'm old!).
When you're hot, you need to keep shooting. Them the rules. Strawberries for everyone!
Kyle Kuzma > Jesus (according to Kuz)
We're not going to spend a ton of time on this. Our rather confident subject will be discussed later in this fine newsletter.
Anywho, for those who did not know, Los Angeles Lakers third wheel, Kyle Kuzma, is so good at basketball that he can knock down a jumper over the world's most famous carpenter.
That's Jesus H. Christ, for your information.
That's right. Kuzma claimed he was so in the zone on Monday, he could hit a jumper even if it was Jesus guarding him.
“I think Jesus could be in front of me, and I would probably still shoot.”
My brain... it just melted. I died. I'm dead. This is my reanimated corpse writing the rest of the newsletter.
Nonetheless, you heard it from Kuzma first. He's > Jesus (at least for a single game).
The Los Angeles Lakers are not ready for the NBA Playoffs. Wait... what? Don't kill the random dude relaying the information. This was said by The King Himself.
According to LeBron James, "There's another level to playoff basketball." Seems about right. He also claims the Lakers are getting there. We should take him at his word. Then again, he's also the same guy who claims Kyle Kuzma is wickedly important.
Shame on Victor Oladipo for having friends, as a general by the way. After, you know, being a person and having friends, trade rumors began to rise from the ashes.
Per rules of the NBA, whenenver a superstar does anything other than play the literal game, it means he's likely looking to be traded.
Going outside the superstar bubble -- within the NBA bubble -- good lord is Darius Bazley doing some work. He actually joined James Harden and Russell Westbrook in the OKC record books on Monday.
The Thunder selected Bazley 23rd overall in last year’s draft. Don't you remember? He was that kid who skipped college and all that jazz. He’s only averaged 5.0 points and 3.8 rebounds so far this season, making his back-to-back night performances a bit stunning. Hopefully the kid can keep it up. He has a lot of talent.
Date: Tuesday, August 11, 2020
Time: 2:00 pm ET
Place: The Infamous Disney Bubble
Where to watch: NBATV
DeMar DeRozan is coming off a 27 point outbusrt, shooting an insane 63 percent from the field. The knock? Per DeRozan rules, he hasn't even attempted a shot from beyond the arc in the last two games. If we want to get more hyperbolic, using the break in games to mislead a bit, our neighberhood friendly guard has only made four three-pointers in all of 2020.
To be fair to him, there is that entire... ugh... /gestures at everything happening. At the same time, that's not a small sample size of games. In fact, he played in 35 games over this period of time.
Still, that's not his game. As many fans are thirsty for 3-point blood, DeRozan is fine attacking the rim and shooting smart mid-range jumpers. It's just who he is. Does it put a cap on the Spurs? Maybe... I don't know. You don't, either. What are we: rocket builders? I don't know if you knew this about the franchise, but they have a Hall of Fame coach in some bearded guy on the bench. If anyone can get every player on the roster to hit their ceiling, it's him.
Averaging 22.1 points per game on the season -- hoo-bleeping-ray counting stats! -- he's averaging 17.5 points in his last two games against the Rockets, shooting a rather bluh 37 percent from the field.
Nevertheless, keep an eye on him as things begin to get interesting out West.
As for the Houston Rockets, we know the deal. The break -- RELATIVELY SPEAKING -- might benefit Houston the most, given just how much they ask out of their two superstars on any given night.
James Harden, who is averaging a tad over 34 points per on the season, is actually besting that in his last two gainst the Spurs, scoring 39 points per in that time span. Then again, he was also only shooting 32 percent from the field and 24 percent from distance despite those large numbers.
Kids, that's what high-volume shooting does to a man... or something.
Digressing a bit here, as we're not doing a full game preview or anything.
The game is scheduled to air on NBA TV. Why is that important? Because a good chunk of the country does not have that broadcast outlet, leaving many humans in the nation crying.
Full blown tears, to be honest.
Eh, so here's the deal. Games on NBATV (NBA TV?) are meant to be so-so affairs. Like cheating on your loved one with Bastion Booger for some reason. You don't know why you did such a dumb thing, especially for a dumpster fire of a person, but you did it anyway.
With that as my logic -- loosely using that term -- I choose the Spurs by three points because of course DeRozan will go off in a game at two in the afternoon on a channel no one has.
We can add sitting United States President Donald Trump to the list of names of people who want to see college football happen like normal this season. According to one of his staff members: “The president would very much like to see college football safely resume their sport … they work their whole lives for this moment and he’d like to see [these athletes] live out their dreams.”
If their dreams were to also be paid for their work, would 45 like to see those lived out as well? This actually comes off the back of Nebraska looking to play no matter what the Big Ten does, as well as what Trevor Lawrence said about wanting to play.
Malcolm Brown is not here to celebrate Todd Gurley. “It’s been easy to fall into that role,” Brown told reporters on Monday. “I knew right when [Gurley] left, I would probably play a bigger of a role."
My man, tell us how you really feel. Gurley's been on a bit of a weird decline the last couple of seasons. He can still score near the endzone, even showing flashes of Peak Todd (patent pending) in moments, but gone are the days of him dominating a game all by himself. Brown has some serious swagger resting within his bones. I like it.
According to a person around that mess in Washington -- not that mess -- Alex Smith is a legit contender to win the starting QB position for a team without a nickname.
Jokes aside, and even if you think Smith is/was never that good to begin with, this is bonkers and rather cool. Our pal here had his leg twisted like a WWE action figure and is closing in on a full return to the NFL. I'd ask why given there's only more violence on blades of grass waiting for him, but if this is what makes him happy, who am I to steal his joy?
The movie Tragedy Girls makes me happy. Alex Smith wouldn't rob me of that joy.