As humans continue to adjust to a life cramped inside limited confines, the NBA provided some entertainment on Wednesday evening, allowing our species to see young men be told where they are forced to apply their trade for the next few years.
Capitalism is weird in sports?
The 2020 NBA Draft was interesting. As it is with most everything else, the world watched remotely as everyone at ESPN operated remotely… with players reacting to their selections remotely.
We’re one setback removed from people doing stuff remotely, you know, remotely.
Anywho, I’m mostly getting out of the way for this edition of the newsletter. Consider this a guide to get caught up on draft tomfoolery, some aftermath stuff, as well as a few oddly placed jokes.
For those who are not yet caught up to speed, via my good friend Dillon Reagan, here’s what went down on Wednesday night.
2020 NBA Draft Results
First Round
1. Minnesota Timberwolves — Anthony Edwards, Georgia, G (Full profile)
2. Golden State Warriors — James Wiseman, Memphis, C (Full profile)
3. Charlotte Hornets — LaMelo Ball, Illawarra Hawks (AU), G (Full profile)
4. Chicago Bulls — Patrick Williams, Florida State, F (Full profile)
5. Cleveland Cavaliers — Isaac Okoro, Auburn, F (Full profile)
6. Atlanta Hawks — Onyeka Okongwu, USC, C (Full profile)
7. Detroit Pistons — Killian Hayes, Ulm (GER), G (Full profile)
8. New York Knicks — Obi Toppin, Dayton, F/C (Full profile)
9. Washington Wizards — Deni Avdija, Maccabi Tel Aviv (ISR), F (Full profile)
10. Phoenix Suns — Jalen Smith, Maryland, F/C
11. San Antonio Spurs — Devin Vassell, Florida State, F (Full profile)
12. Sacramento Kings — Tyrese Haliburton, Iowa State, G (Full profile)
13. New Orleans Pelicans — Kira Lewis, Alabama, G (Full profile)
14. Boston Celtics (from Memphis) — Aaron Nesmith, Vanderbilt, F
15. Orlando Magic — Cole Anthony, North Carolina, G
16. Detroit Pistons (reportedly from Houston via Portland) — Isaiah Stewart, Washington, F/C
17. Oklahoma City Thunder (reportedly from Minnesota via Brooklyn and Atlanta) — Aleksej Pokusevski, Olympiacos Piraeus (Greece), F
18. Dallas Mavericks — Josh Green, Arizona, G
19. Detroit Pistons (reportedly from Brooklyn via Philadelphia and L.A. Clippers) — Saddiq Bey, Villanova, F
2o. Miami Heat — Precious Achiuwa, Memphis, PF
21. Philadelphia 76ers (from Oklahoma City via Philadelphia and Orlando) — Tyrese Maxey, Kentucky, G (Full profile)
22. Denver Nuggets (from Houston) — Zeke Nnaji, Arizona, PF
23. Minnesota Timberwolves (reportedly from New York via Utah) — Leandro Bolmaro, FC Barcelona Lassa, F/C
24. Denver Nuggets (reportedly from New Orleans via Milwaukee and Indiana) — RJ Hampton, New Zealand Breakers, G
25. New York Knicks (reportedly from Minnesota via Oklahoma City and Denver) — Immanuel Quickley, Kentucky, G
26. Boston Celtics — Payton Pritchard, Oregon, G
27. Utah Jazz (reportedly from New York via L.A. Clippers) — Udoka Azubuike, Kansas, C
28. Minnesota Timberwolves (reportedly from Oklahoma City via L.A. Lakers) — Jaden McDaniels, Washington, PF
29. Toronto Raptors — Malachi Flynn, Washington State, G
30. Memphis Grizzlies (reportedly from Boston via Milwaukee and Phoenix) — Desmond Bane, TCU, G
Second Round
31. Dallas Mavericks (from Golden State) — Tyrell Terry, Stanford, G
32. Charlotte Hornets (from Cleveland via Portland, Orlando, and L.A. Clippers) — Vernon Carey, Duke, C
33. New York Knicks (reportedly from Minnesota) — Daniel Oturu, Minnesota, C
34. Oklahoma City Thunder (reportedly from Philadelphia via Atlanta) — Theo Maledon, ASVEL (FR), G
35. Memphis Grizzlies (reportedly from Sacramento via Detroit and Phoenix) — Xavier Tillman, Michigan State, F
36. Dallas Mavericks (reportedly from Philadelphia via New York) — Tyler Bey, Colorado, G/F
37. Oklahoma City Thunder (reportedly from Washington via Chicago) — Vit Krejci, Casademont Zaragoza,
38. Detroit Pistons (reportedly from Utah via New York and Charlotte) — Saben Lee, Vanderbilt, G
39. Utah Jazz (reportedly from New Orleans via Washington and Milwaukee) — Elijah Hughes, Syracuse, F
40. Sacramento Kings (reportedly from Memphis via Phoenix) — Robert Woodard, Mississippi State, G
41. San Antonio Spurs — Tre Jones, Duke, G
42. Charlotte Hornets (reportedly from New Orleans) — Nick Richards, Kentucky, C
43. Sacramento Kings — Jahmius Ramsey, Texas Tech, G
44. Chicago Bulls (from Memphis) — Marko Simonovic, Crvena zvezda, F
45. Milwaukee Bucks (reportedly from Orlando) — Jordan Nwora, Louisville, F
46. Portland Trail Blazers — CJ Elleby, Washington State, F
47. Boston Celtics (from Brooklyn via Philadelphia, Orlando, and Charlotte) — Yam Madar, Hapoel Tel Aviv, G
48. Golden State Warriors (from Dallas via Philadelphia) — Nico Mannion, Arizona, G
49. Philadelphia 76ers — Isaiah Joe, Arkansas, G
50. Atlanta Hawks (from Miami via Boston and Cleveland) — Skylar Mays. LSU, G
51. Golden State Warriors (from Utah via Cleveland, Detroit, and Dallas) — Justinian Jessup, Boise State, G
52. Houston Rockets (reportedly from Sacramento via Houston) — Kenyon Martin Jr., IMG Academy, F
53. Washington Wizards (reportedly from Oklahoma City) — Cassius Winston, Michigan State, G
54. Indiana Pacers — Cassius Stanley, Duke, G
55. Los Angeles Clippers (reportedly from Brooklyn via Denver) — Jay Scrubb, John A. Logan, G/F
56. Charlotte Hornets (from Boston) — Grant Riller, College of Charleston, G
57. Brooklyn Nets (reportedly from L.A. Clippers) — Reggie Perry, Mississippi State, PF
58. Philadelphia 76ers (from L.A. Lakers via Orlando) — Paul Reed, DePaul, PF
59. Toronto Raptors — Jalen Harris, Nevada, G
60. Milwaukee Bucks (reportedly from New Orleans via Milwaukee) — Sam Merrill, Utah State, G
NBA Draft Fallout Nonsense
Anthony Edwards, who might not even like basketball, does have a neat origin story.
While everyone assumes they know him, LaMelo Ball appears to be a legit solid kid. Put respect on his name… or something.
Mo Bamba made fun of a new teammate who cried. Damn Boomers.
Brad Stevens is thirsty for shooting.
Knicks drafted an insanely athletic to put next to another insanely athletic big. They can’t shoot. To be fair, neither can their guards. At least they’re consistent.
Klay Thompson Is Hurt. Take My Legs.
Per Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN, the Warriors still don’t know how severe Thompson’s right leg injury is until he undergoes his MRI on Thursday. Most people are assuming and speculating that it’s super bad. Not super bad like the movie. Moer like awful from a general viewpoint.
Few players are as fun to watch as Klay, especially when he goes nuclear, scoring a billion points in seven seconds. In fact, Klay can score quicker than Rick Pitino at a restaurant.
As a good member of the basketball community, I am offering Klay Thompson both of my legs as a sacrifice. He won’t be able to jump as high or be as good, but they’re healthy legs. Just let’em become a spot-up shooter until his original legs fully heal. Move over China Klay, RoboKlay is coming.
Digressing a bit, here are some trades the Warriors should think about making now that Klay is hurt.
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Joseph used to write a bunch of things for places like Forbes, FRS and others. Now he’s ‘the man’ in management. A big old loser. A washed, leathery face, too. Here’s his own newsletter.